Changing and Balancing

I'm on week three of my twelve week creativity course, led by the book The Artist's Way.

It's a slow process, but so far so good.  And I'm surprised to find much of it applicable to my professional life as well as my creative life.

Things are shifting in my world right now.  I'm working more than before - I gave up my studio day during the week to take on more hours at my day job.  And I'm working on another really cool project that's taking up a lot of my time.

This all means less time for sewing, and less time for blogging.  With my studio day gone, I'm seeing my weekends quickly taken over as well.  And I've found that I can't create in windows of two or four hours...I really need a whole day carved out so that I can create at my own pace.

It's been hard to adjust to this new schedule, even though it comes with exciting beginnings. By Friday of last week, I was really weary of running here and there, from meeting to meeting, and not getting any time in my studio.  This ugly self bubbled up inside me, and I felt ready to blow.  I was daring bicyclists to ride up behind me too close and cars to not be patient as I crossed the road, so that I could direct my frustration at something.

On Sunday, I took myself on an artist date (one of the book's assignments) to my favorite tea shop to read and people watch.

While reading this week's chapter, I came across this nugget:

Anger is a map.  Anger shows us what our boundaries are...It tells us we can't get away with our old life any longer.  It tells us that old life is dying.  It tells us we are being reborn, and birthing hurts.  The hurt makes us angry.

I like the idea of anger as a map. Of realizing what I need to fiercely protect in my life.  Of using it productively.  Balancing out all of the new pieces of my life is both exciting and painful.  But I have faith that it will all settle out, and that I'll set new boundaries and find a balance again soon